Dear a seven years old child,
Hello,
to a child who cannot believe and understand that your grandfather is not ever
going to come back. You are so confused about your emotion that you do not know
what to feel and how to react. You are squeezing out your tears, trying to
imitate lamenting adults at the funeral. I know you are wrapped around by fear
that death is a shared fate of every person in the funeral, including you. You
then, consequently, fear the pain that comes with death. Overwhelmed by the
terror, you start to stare blankly at grandfather’s framed photo across the
shoulders of the mourning people.
You do not have to be possessed by the fear of the pain
of the death. Death is not a ruthless destroyer who crashes all the deeds and
achievement that you have made. Grandfather was not in severe pain when death
came to him. Your grandfather was watering the orchid after breakfast, as usual,
picking up the fallen leaves on the fish pond in the garden, firmly tying your
shoe laces for you, and walking the dog after the dinner. When he was about to
pull his socks off from his feet after the walk in his room, death gently
tapped his shoulder. Though death was not a plan that your grandfather had
chosen, he willingly took the hand of death, and death gracefully walked him
out of our world. Death politely stopped him from going on in his routines and gave
him rest.
The funeral gave you a reality check that death indiscriminately
comes to everyone at any time. But you do not have to be scared by this common
law of humankind. Simply accept the order of the nature that there is an end to
anything that is created. Everything that you can see around this funeral hall
will die at one point. The flowers next to grandfather’s picture are
perishable. The mourning people will die one day. The shiny coffin will
decompose and vanish into the soil. Even the funeral hall will become
dilapidated and be torn down in the future. This is the only unchanging law but
something not to lament about. This is the most fundamental order of our world
that people have to follow. I understand that it is depressing to accept that
everything will vanish one day, but you do not need to stay dejected.
Accept the fate, but live your life enthusiastically. My
advice seems to be contradicting and nonsensical since I have listed gruesome examples
of the impermanence of any existence. Once you are always thinking of death
while you are in school, chattering with your friends and eating your lunch,
you are not living anymore but dying. That thought of death will eat you from
inside, like a little parasite and leave you with paralysis. Embrace every
moment that you spend with your family and your friends. Listen more carefully
to them, respond with more earnestness, and go out to have new experiences.
Today is the first day of the remaining days till your death. Treat every day
with the excitement and enthusiasm that you had on the first day of your
school.
I hope your fear lessens and you now understand a little
better about death. If you still have no idea of how to react to grandfather’s
death, just think about the times that you spent with him, and remember what he
said to you in your mind. A person truly dies when he or she is completely
forgotten by others. You might be mourning the futility of people, how there is
literally nothing lasting after one’s death. Although grandfather’s death seems
to have no redeeming value, his death might not be a mere end to his existence.
According to the Bible, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel
of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will
produce many new kernels – a plentiful harvest of new lives.” Ironically, death
leads to life: a deliberate scheme behind the order of nature.
